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5 2014
Nov

The Interracial Couple (Yes, Race: That Thing We Aren’t Supposed to Talk About) [Blog Challenge #7]

The following post is apart of Alex Beadon’s Feel Good Blogging Challenge. Admittedly, I was skeptical about something like this, but it’s turning out to be a powerful blogging exercise!

I am in a interracial relationship. I am a white female and my boyfriend is Asian (Cambodian and Chinese). As it turns out, there’s actually a name for our relationship: AMWF (Asian Male/White Female).

My boyfriend’s family came to America around the time he was born. As such, he’s very Americanized (his words), but still has the Cambodian roots he was born with; Asian culture still holds true and runs deep in his family. I find it an incredibly unique and humbling experience every time I’m with them, as it makes me realize how little I know about other cultures and the world around me. But this is not a post about my boyfriend’s family.

During my birthday weekend, I went to the Disney Food & Wine Festival in Orlando with my boyfriend, Kristen (my best friend), and her boyfriend, Kal, who is black. (I suppose that makes them a BMWF couple.)

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I was brought up to see people, not color.

Now is a good time to stop and say: race has never been something I’m aware of. Sure, it may be because I’m (currently) apart of the majority race. But even when I’m surrounded by my boyfriend’s family…the only white person and one of the only people who can call English their first language…it’s still not something that I think of.

So back to my Disney story.

While waiting in line in Greece, a (white) woman came up to Kristen and said something to the effect of, “I see you and your friend are both in interracial couples. I think that’s great. I’m in one myself. I have a biracial son and my daughter is also in an interracial relationship.”

I was shocked. As someone who doesn’t have a second thought about these things, I was taken aback when it was mentioned.

I spoke to her after about how she and her entire family (interracial couples and all, gasp!) were sitting in an Idaho cafe when a gentleman came up to them and said something masked as a compliment, but actually an insult. I forget exactly what was said, but you can use your imagination. Something equal to the likeness of “Bless your heart” here in the South.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize…interracial relationships are still seen as negative things by some people. There are articles out there about how to cope with the stares and gawking. Hell, I always thought it was people thinking “aww, they’ll make such cute babies one day!”

The reality is: some people still do see color. And you know what? It’s sad. Our cultural heritage is a beautiful, wonderful thing that should never be lost or forgotten. But at the end of the day, love is love and it doesn’t see color.

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I want to know your thoughts about this. But keep it clean. If you have an opposing opinion, that’s fine; but negative and discriminatory comments will be deleted immediately. 

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Comments (3)

  1. As an Asian male myself, I just wanted to say that I found this post inspirational. You two are beautiful together and I wish the best for both of you. Excuse my political incorrectness, but F*CK the south and their little “bless your heart” idiotic old-timey phrases. Those supposed “Christian southerners” and their hateful confederate flags can kiss my butt. Why would they say bless your heart as an insult?? Your heart is obviously much more sophisticated than theirs since you saw a man for who he was and not for what he looked like. As an Asian man myself, I see this subtle racism every day and it really takes an emotional toll on your soul after so many years. Because if you think about it, nobody would give 2 craps if a white man had chosen an Asian wife. People in white society would NEVER consider berating or judging a white guy for choosing an Asian wife. They would probably do the opposite and praise the white guy for choosing a beautiful Asian girl! The thought of berating a white husband for his choice of Asian wife would never even cross their minds! In the US, this pairing of white man and Asian woman is significantly more common than the opposite pairing. In fact, white husband with Asian wife is technically the most common interracial pairing in the US according to the 2010 census. It is an incredible double standard and is frankly, quite sad. I feel like society still views Asian men as not quite “good enough” for a white woman. I feel like people would see a white woman with an Asian boyfriend and ask “why did she choose this weird looking Asian guy?” It’s almost as if they are not truly equals in their eyes. There is a lot of progress that needs to be made. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that I found this post inspirational. You two look beautiful together. I wish the best for both of you, wherever life leads you.

    • Victor, I apologize, as I’m seeing your comment long after you posted it.

      First: thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate them.

      Second: I totally agree with you. It’s a shame that there is a double standard with race, gender, and pairings of the two.

      I have to be honest when I say my boyfriend is the first Asian I’ve dated and not for lack of trying, simply for lack of exposure. (Being from Maine, the Asian race is simply few and far between.) That being said…I’m so glad I found him!

      I hope that one day interracial relationships can be viewed with the kindness and openness that some people view them with currently. In the meantime…I’ll be happy to bring some beautiful biracial babies into the world someday ;)

  2. Those four people in the first picture, what a lovely, beautiful bunch :)

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